The friends and family you ask to join your wedding party are there for emotional and tactical support throughout the wedding planning process and of course on the big day. Consult with your partner to decide what size wedding party works best for the two of you—keeping in mind the expenses that come along with this responsibility. Consider who you really want standing next to you during this monumental occasion and if they are capable of performing the duties required of their position.
Now the hard part is choosing the right people. Maybe you have a bunch of friends and aren’t sure who to pick and who might be offended if you cut them out. There is no rush in picking your wedding party, so really take your time to decide and ask yourself questions like, “Will I be just as close to this person in 5 years as I am right now?” Also think about how they would mesh with the rest of the bridal party.
How much involvement are you wanting your wedding party to have? Will they help in the planning process at all (with invitations, dress shopping, and pre-wedding parties) or is it enough for them to just show up to your wedding in the color dress that you have chosen? If you’re wanting more from your bridesmaid, then choosing a person that lives far away and likely won’t be able to be there to help might not be your best choice.
It is typical for the bride and the groom to have the same amount of people standing next to them at the altar, but it is completely up to you whether or not you follow this rule of thumb. If you’re planning to hire a professional photographer, more likely than not they will have dealt with this issue before and know how to make your photos look amazing even with an uneven amount of people!
For those of you with a bunch of close friends and lifelong family friends that you consider family, think about the option of having “honorary bridesmaids” – meaning you can dedicate a section of your wedding to these important people, without having to allow 18 people to stand up next to you at the altar. Honorary bridesmaids can have a distinguishing factor that makes them stand out from the average guest including a VIP corsage, a color of dress that matches the other bridesmaids – but on a lesser scale. For example, if your bridesmaids are in a silk gown, maybe your honorary bridesmaids can mimic the same color dress in a chiffon material.
Now, how do you ask these people to be your bridesmaid, honorary bridesmaid, and how does the groom ask his groomsmen?
We love the creativity that goes into asking bridesmaids – gift boxes, custom wine labels, celebrity shout outs through Cameo, picture frames, cakes, and of course gorgeous invitation cards. The options are truly endless with this one and you can spend as much or as little as you’d like! As for asking honorary bridesmaids and groomsmen, these are a bit more relaxed. Getting together to do some kind of group activity – going out to lunch, hitting the spa, or even a boozy movie night – and asking all of these people to be a special part of your wedding day is as far as it needs to go. If these people live all over, a Zoom call would suffice. We’re sure that your honorary bridesmaids and groomsmen are going to be interested in learning about your wedding details, so this is a quick and easy way to get together and chat about everything!
At the end of the day, just think about who you absolutely have to have standing next to you on your big day and the decision should be pretty simple. You have options on how to include all of the special people in your lives in your wedding, so don’t stress!